Category Archives: Uncategorized

That Was Weird.

My novelists’ support discussion group met tonight, and for the first time I didn’t want to talk about how the novel is going.  As I casually mentioned in yesterday’s post, I’ve put Meet the Larssons aside for a while, to gain some additional distance and to work on Project Hometown (which needs a better working title, I know).  Tonight, I really felt how big a decision that was, and started to regret it.

I took a two month break from MTL when I finished the first draft last October, but that was in triumph, and I was giddy with the flush of accomplishment.  This time, I’ve been screwing around with the revisions for close to six months and have nothing to show for it except 350 pages of manuscript covered with blue scrawl (bad) and 150 pages that haven’t been touched yet (worse) plus notes for scenes that haven’t been written yet (worst).  This break isn’t a well-deserved rest, it feels like an admission of defeat.

Revision is hard work, and requires more organization and consistency of effort than writing the first draft.  For the last several months, I haven’t been able to commit to that much self-discipline because things have picked up so much at the office; I’ve been traveling a lot, blah blah blah.  I can make all of the excuses for myself that I want, but they’re all bullshit.

What it really comes down to is that as I reworked the book, I lost the voice of Jake, the main character.  I couldn’t get inside his head any more, and with a book told entirely in the first person, being stuck on the outside is problematic.  He became flat, and passive, and finally I just wanted to stop.  I still expect to come back to Jake and Meet the Larssons in a few months.  Maybe in August when we’re on vacation, and I’ll have a little more time; maybe when I finish the first draft of — or get stuck in the middle of — Project Hometown.  Whatever.  Oh no, poor writer-man, lost his character’s voice! Author FAIL.

I outlined Project Hometown pretty thoroughly over the winter, about 40 pages worth of synopses, character backstory, plot notes, etc.  I’m hoping to move this draft along more quickly, and maintain a better story arc than I did with MTL.  The main characters are all a little angsty, but I’m hoping the process of writing it will be less angst-ridden than MTL was.

Angsty Writer Poetry

Little Unfocused Me

Lost his MC

and didn’t know where to find him…

Spring Sunday Stats #6: Feeling Flabby.

I’m back with the first Sunday Stats post in a while.  Before we get to the main part of the post, which is all about me (like so many things), let me take this opportunity to wish the Siren and my mother, Unfocused Ma, a very happy Mother’s Day.

The Siren, the kids, and I just got back from a nice Mother’s Day brunch with the Siren’s mother and brother.  I actually made an appearance at their church this morning, because the kids’ choir had a performance.  Junior has pretty emphatically gotten over the stage fright he suffered from in his younger days, and, like Unfocused Girl, gives signs of having inherited at least some of the Siren’s musical talent.

On to the stats:

On Writing: I made the decision a couple of weeks ago to put Meet the Larssons on the back burner for a while.  I’m not trunking it, but I need some distance from it.  I was getting bogged down in the rewrite, and I was starting to bore myself.

Instead, I started writing Project Hometown, the novel I outlined over the winter.  I’m 3,192 words into it; not great for a couple of weeks worth of work, but not terrible.  The real problem is that I fell out of the habit of writing every day, and my authorial muscles have atrophied.  As I said in my previous post, I have become an undisciplined wretch.  I’m slowly starting to get back into the groove, and since I did so much work on the front end I’m optimistic that as I get back into the habit of writing, the story itself should come more easily than MTL did.

On Running: 10 miles this morning, in 1:33:16.  Like last week, today’s run was slow and painful.  My legs have felt terrible for the last couple of weeks:  my hamstrings are tight, the tendons alongside my hips are sore, I occasionally have bizarre pains in my knees just from crossing my legs.  I’m not entirely sure what the problem is, since I kept up my running pretty well through the winter and crummy first half of spring thanks to the treadmill, but I have some ideas based what’s changed in my exercise habits over the past year.  I think the primary issue is that I’m lifting weights much less frequently, and doing fewer exercises when I do; in particular, I almost never do any real strength training for my legs. Running works some of the muscles, but ignores others, leading to significant muscle imbalances; if I did more strength training for my legs, they’d probably hurt less.

I’m also, for a variety of reasons, more pressed for time than I was a year ago, and find myself skipping the post-run stretching as often as not.  Today, for example, I had to rush to get showered and dressed as soon as I finished my run in order to get to the church in time for the kids’ concert.  I didn’t stretch at all, and by the time I got out of the car in the church parking lot, I was so stiff I had to limp all the way in.  The stiffness worked itself out, but that kind of negligence is going to cost me, and probably already has.

Time, time, time.  That’s what it always comes down to.  As it is, I’ve stripped away as many distractions as I can.  I read less than I used to, and I watch almost no television.  I suppose I could drop Facebook and Twitter, but keeping up social contacts, even over the interwebs, feels like it’s worth doing.  I want to spend more time with my family, not less; I still need to work for a living, and I don’t get enough sleep as it is.

I don’t think there’s really an answer here, just a constant rebalancing of competing priorities.  I can live with that if I keep reminding myself that it’s a long race, and if I can keep from hitting the wall or blowing out a knee, I’ll get to the finish line eventually.  Not a particularly deep thought — I have a t-shirt that says “Life is a marathon, not a sprint” which sums it up nicely — but then, I’m not a particularly deep person, so a personal philosophy that fits on a t-shirt is probably about right for me.

There’s a Spider in the Bathtub.

Blogging on a Friday night, for the first time in a while, with some semi-random thoughts.

1. Writing:  I am an undisciplined wretch.

I’ve blown off Meet the Larssons the last few weeks, and recently started writing Project Hometown, which needs a much cooler working title.  I did a lot of work outlining it over the winter, and I think I’ve got a good sense of where it’s going, but the actual writing isn’t coming as easily as I remember the first few chapters of Meet the Larssons did.  Part of it is that I haven’t taken much concentrated time for writing, just short bursts.  Maybe I’ll take a couple of hours over the weekend.

2.  Does anyone else smell bacon?

A kid in Unfocused Girl’s class apparently has swine flu (aka “the 0ther wh1te meat”-itis; I refuse to change the name to “novel flu” just because the p0rk council is all twitchy.  As an aspiring writer, I’m offended by that, and concerned that people will stop buying books out of blind, unreasoning terror.  I’m not worried about Unfocused Girl, because she is, like The Tick, nigh invulnerable, and almost never gets sick.

Have you heard about the crazy people having swine flu parties to get their kids sick now, before the fall when (they think) it’s going to mutate and come back in a more dangerous form?  The idea is to get your child sick with the presumably weaker spring strain of the disease, leaving them with some immunity to the fall strain.  There’s so much wrong with this it’s hard to know where to start, but for me the issue begins and ends with two questions:  how do you know H1N1 is going to mutate into something worse? and if it does, how do you know it won’t mutate so much that your child’s immunity becomes useless?  Seriously, just say NO to stupid DIY medical experiments on children too young to give informed consent.

3.  Hey, there’s a spider in the bathtub.

Not anymore.

4.  Another rocking Unfocused Family Friday night around the laptop.

I like hanging around with the kids on Friday and Saturday evenings, but I’d like to get them to bed a little earlier at least once in a while on a weekend so that we might have time to watch a movie.  I think it’s been over a year since the Siren and I watched a video together without the kids.

I’m not saying I need a campaign of people telling me to sit down and watch a movie with my wife, like with the “take her out to dinner” comment blitz a few months ago (I hope she finished paying you all off, by the way).  I’m just saying, we have a bunch of DVDs we haven’t seen yet, and I could be watching one with my lovely bride instead of talking to you.

News From the Lump.

I’m not sure why I’ve been staying away from the blog lately.  I’ve been busy at work, and have been working on a couple of writing projects, but probably the biggest thing keeping me off WordPress.com has been the spring weather.

Unfocused Girl and I went out on Saturday and bought her a new bike.  She had outgrown — in more ways that one — the pink and white, ribbon-festooned bike she started on.  She only started being able to ride without training wheels at the end of last summer, and then only shakily.  Apparently the problem was the bike, because once we got her badass new blue BMX bike (with free decals of fists clutching swords) home she was off and riding with hardly a wobble.  Junior followed her up and down the block on his Spider-Man bike (still with training wheels, but he’s already talking about getting rid of them).  I spent most of Saturday and Sunday afternoons outside cheering them on and taking pictures.

But I have been doing some writing and will try to post about it tonight or tomorrow, and maybe kick out a podcast post this week.

Hope you’re enjoying the spring weather, too.

Pardon Me for Not Shaking Hands.

… but you might have the swine flu — I’m watching it approach Chicago in real time here. Or the zombie plague. And I don’t want to catch either one. I didn’t post any stats this weekend because I was too busy digging out a fortified bunker under the kids’ playset. I may post the stats tonight or tomorrow, if I can get the canned goods, weapons, and gold coins stashed in time to hide the family from the coming collapse of civilization.  When Mother Abigail from The Stand shows up on Twitter, it’s time to duck and cover.

For another perspective, you could read Mike’s polyannaish post.  But don’t get too close, I think I just heard him sneeze.

Podcasts on the iPhone, #1 of an Occasional Series.

I dropped the On the iPod section of my weekly Sunday Stats post a couple of weeks ago, because it didn’t fit with the format anymore; it started out as just whatever I happened to listen to on my Sunday long run, and turned into a list of everything I’d listened to in the past week, with links to individual episodes.  Also, the links were a real pain in the ass to do on a Sunday at the end of a post that might already have taken me a couple of hours to write.

But I like promoting the podcasts I listen to — I hardly ever listen to live commercial radio, and I want to spread the word about all of the good stuff that’s out there.  Also, it makes me feel like one of the cool kids in the social media space, or at least one of the kids who occasionally gets to hang with the cool kids.  So I’m going to do a separate post from time to time, linking to whatever I’ve been listening to lately.  It might not be every week, and it might not include everything I listen to (some weeks I listen to a lot of podcasts), but I’ll do my best.  If you’re not interested in podcasts, just skip it and I promise in my next post I’ll complain about not having enough time to run, write, spend with my wife & kids, or get my work done.

This week, I’m going to focus on the podcast fiction I’ve been listening to lately.  Next time, I’ll do the non-fiction podcasts I’ve gotten into recently, and I’ve picked up some good ones.

Serving Worlds:

I can’t remember exactly how John Mierau and I ended up following each other on Twitter — perhaps through the Absolute Write group — but after he made a crack about lawyers I checked out his podcast Serving Worlds. (Note: making unpleasant generalizations about my profession is not normally a good way to get me to listen to your podcast.  Yes, many lawyers are assholes.  I am often one of them.)  In Serving Worlds, John reads his own short stories.  I’ve listened to one story (three episodes) all the way through, and I’m three episodes in to another.  His stuff is good.  Check him out.  The first episodes of the stories I’ve heard so far are:

Serving Worlds, Episode #4:  “Marked Men,” Episode 1.

Serving Worlds, Episode #7:  “Harlan’s Wake,” Episode 1.

StarShip Sofa:

I am probably the last podcast listener interested in science fiction to subscribe to StarShip Sofa, so I’m sure you already know all about it.  I’ve only just started listening, but it has more of a “magazine” feel than Escape Pod does, with a combination of some or all of editorial, reviews, poetry, and fiction in each episode of its Aural Delights.  If you don’t already subscribe to Aural Delights and want to give it a try, I enjoyed this episode just today:

Aural Delights No. 79 (lead story, “Standing Room Only,” by Karen Joy Fowler).

Escape Pod:

Speaking of Escape Pod, it seems to be back on track, with founder and Escape Artist in Chief Steve Eley having delegated some of the responsibility for getting the show out to new managing editor Jeremiah Tolbert.  Escape Pod is working through what must have been a truly epic backlog of flash fiction — they pushed out a lot of it in January, and have sent more out on the feed in the last couple of weeks, which reminds me that I have a flash piece I’ve been meaning to submit.  EP is also in the process of publishing all of the Hugo nominees for short story.  I recently listened to, and enjoyed:

Escape Pod #194:  Hugo nominee “Exhalation,” by Ted Chiang.

Escape Pod #195:  Hugo nominee “26 Monkeys, Also the Abyss,” by Kij Johnson.

Escape Pod Flash:  Grandpa? by Edward M. Lerner.

Escape Pod Flash:  “Chump Change,” by Pete Butler.

That’s all I have for tonight.  Now I need to go make sure my tux is clean; Junior’s school’s benefit is Saturday night.

Spring Sunday Stats #5: April Showers … Are Tiresome.

It’s been a hectic week here at Stately Unfocused Manor.  Both kids developed a stomach virus on Tuesday and spent much of that day and the next throwing up, making us extremely grateful that they are both old enough to aim.  By Thursday, they were both well enough to go to school, but Unfocused Girl’s school was closed for parent-teacher conferences, so she missed most of a week of school (I wasn’t able to go to the conference, but The Siren reports that her teachers say she’s doing quite well).  Things at the office continue to be bizarrely busy, but I was able to keep most of the balls in the air this week.

In sad comic book news, Unfocused Girl recently received the final issues of both The Amazing Spider-Girl and Supergirl:  Cosmic Adventures in the Eighth Grade.  On her behalf, I would like to give an enormous raspberry to both Marvel and DC for not continuing these titles, which were two of the only books appropriate for all ages with girl heroes.  Spider-Girl, at least, is being continued as a web comic but you have to subscribe to the entire “Marvel Digital Universe” for about three times what subscription to a single print title costs.  It’s probably a good deal if you’re going to read more than one on-line Marvel series, but I don’t know that it makes sense for us.  As for Supergirl, from what I’ve seen of it, the primary title is too mature for an 8 year old (at least, my 8 year old).  She still likes her subscription to Batman: The Brave and the Bold, and we’ll check out a couple of the other Marvel titles, but Unfocused Girl really liked both of these subscriptions; I hope both of the major comic book publishers realize they’re leaving behind a lot of potential readers.

It’s cold and raining today; the kids are over at a friend’s house watching one of the original Godzilla movies, so I can blog without guilt.

On Writing: This week was much better than the last few have been.  I marked up another 32 pages of Meet the Larssons this week, through page 352.  I’ve been doing my mark-ups on the train, but I’ve decided that I’m sick of all the hand-editing and I want to start getting the edits and notes into the manuscript, so I’ve started typing in my hand edits at home.  I’ve typed in the entire brand new first chapter (1733 words) and started the second (formerly Chapter 9), staying mostly faithful to my handwritten drafts and edits but not entirely.

I also knocked out a critical scene from the apocalyptic science fiction novel I briefly outlined a couple of months ago then put aside.  I started it on Write or Die on Friday night (I love Write or Die, BTW; many thanks to Dr. Wicked for creating it!), then kept going that night and Saturday evening; it needs work, but the first draft of the scene is complete at a little over 1500 words.  I don’t know whether I’m going to do anything with it anytime soon, but I’m considering seeing how the story works as a novella that I could expand into a novel later.  A friend of mine (who makes no-budget science fiction movies) suggested that the story sounds like a good no-budget science fiction movie, which would be fun.  Whatever I do with it, after all of the editing I’ve been doing, it was fun to do some original writing.

Finally, on Monday I resubmitted “Jimmies” to an on-line market after an exchange with the editor on Twitter.  I’ve managed not to break the “Get Mail” button in Apple Mail, but it’s been a close thing.

On Running: I had a better week running this week, too, despite some funny knee pains brought on, I expect, by a very active game of tag on Easter.  I got in three runs during the week — none of them long, but two of them were outside — and today slogged through the rain for 10 miles in 1:31:24, a 9:09 min/mile pace.  Slow, but given the weather not altogether unexpected.  I had to wrap my iPhone armband carrier in Saran Wrap to keep the rain from getting into it, which worked well.

The Siren and I are both trying to drop a few pounds, so we’re undertaking a full-blown reboot effort.  We’ve cut out wine with dinner most nights, white flour, and stealing the kids’ Easter candy.  It’s helping, and I’m hopeful that dropping 5-10 pounds will make my knees a little less tricky.  I’ve been negligent about stretching this past six months, so I’m trying to be better about that, and will attempt some exercises to strengthen the stabilizing muscles around the knee.  I’ll let you know how that goes.

Finally, I do intend to post about the podcasts I’ve been listening too, including some new ones.  I’ve just been busy.  But I promise to get a post up, if not this week then next.

Bad Lawyers, Secession Talk, and Rewriting the Novel.

There are a couple of recent stories in the news that I think are worthy of comment, but I’m posting this from work so I’ll be brief.

First, I get why the Obama administration has promised that they’re not going to prosecute the CIA agents who followed Bush administration policy and tortured people in the name of national security post-9/11: they were doing a difficult job under circumstances that may (may) have made the relative morality of their actions seem, if not actually good, then at least not so bad.  Also, they were told by the administration’s lawyers, over and over again, that what they were doing wasn’t “torture” and it was all perfectly legal.

Advice of counsel is a viable defense in criminal prosecutions, so I suppose it’s reasonable for it to apply here.  That said, I hope the asshat lawyers who wrote memos to order for the Bush/Cheney cabal condoning torture all get disbarred.

Second story:  Let me get this straight. Spending a trillion dollars to fight a war in a country that didn’t commit terrorist acts on U.S. territory is perfectly fine and questioning it makes you an unpatriotic terrorist sympathizer, but spending a trillion dollars on rebuilding infrastructure and other projects here at home is a crime against the Constitution and the American people that warrants states seceding from the Union (check this link too)?

Finally, as a personal update, I went back to Scrivener and cut 12,000 words from Meet the Larssons last night, but typed in 1205 words of the new first chapter.  I’m still going through the last couple hundred pages with a pen in my hand, but the rewrite has begun in earnest.  I’m very glad to be back at the computer.

Spring Sunday Stats #4: Happy Easter! The Bunny Escapes Unseen, Again.

It’s Easter and we’re all completely worn out. Kids are finally in bed, and I haven’t checked my work email all day. The idea of getting ready for tomorrow is hugely depressing. I need to remember to wear a suit because I’m participating some kind of panel discussion. I may be leading it. Crap.

Hope those of you celebrating Easter had a wonderful holiday — the Siren sang twice today, at 6am and 9am, and Unfocused Girl went with her both times. I hear she gave a fantastic performance.  I stayed home with Junior, and took him out for his first time on the roller skates he got as a hand-me-down from his friend up the block.  Here’s a picture:

He says he wants to build a jetpack, to go with the skates.

He says he wants to build a jetpack, to go with the skates.

The weather has been pretty good this weekend; not very warm, but very sunny, and in Chicago that’s all we need.  Yesterday it was sunny and about 40 by the lake, when we met up with a college friend and her husband and daughter at Millennium Park.  It’s been so gray around here for so long that everyone came out for the nice weather, and I mean everyone:

  • Crazy guy in public washroom, praising me for helping Junior wash his hands after using the toilet (go, me! go, germ theory of disease!):  check
  • Standard issue street preacher, with very large crowd:  check
  • Scientologists: check
  • Anti-scientologist dressed as banana: check
  • Greenpeace guy dressed as tree from an old-growth forest: check
  • Superheroes and supervillains: check

I’m not kidding about that last item.  Here’s the picture, unfortunately only from behind:

In view: The Joker, Harley Quinn, Wolverine, and Power Girl. Not visible: Black Canary, Jean Grey, and unknown female metahuman.

In view: The Joker, Harley Quinn, Wolverine, and Power Girl. Not visible: Black Canary, Jean Grey, and unknown female metahuman.

I love Chicago in the spring.

So on to the stats, very brief this week:

On Writing: The lack of original output continued this weekend as I revised “Jimmies” in light of the comments from the most recent rejection.  Most of what I did was cut about 10 percent of it, 550 words, leaving what I think is a tighter story.  I’m going to give the Siren a crack at it and then get it out the door.

On Running: Just a short run on Thursday.  Nothing today due to the holiday, and I’ve been eating far too many empty calories lately between my messed up work schedule and the holidays.  Time to reboot, starting with a good run tomorrow morning.

Post script:  I try not to buy into most social media hysteria (the whole Facebook Terms of Service freakout seemed completely ridiculous to me, for example), but I admit to getting a little miffed about what certainly appears to be heavy-handed censorship by Amazon, removing “adult” titles from sales ranking, with the effect that these titles no longer show up in the “All Departments” search from the home screen.  If you’re interested in this (or just want to see what all of the fuss is about), search the #amazonfail hashtag on Twitter, and check out Lilith Saintcrow’s post on the subject here.

Post post script: Tor editor Patrick Nielsen Hayden has a thoughtful speculation about what may have happened here.

Happy Passover!

As the most ignorant Jewishish person around (my mother’s family is Jewish, but, as my high school friend Barry used to say, I’m not very good at it), allow me to wish you a happy Passover.  I was delighted to be pointed to Judaism 101 recently, which includes “Basic” information, “Things that every Jewish person should know, that require no prior knowledge.” That’s for me.

The Siren has been prepping for our seder all week, so I’d better go help!